I get that feeling that she likes me, that we have a connection. It’s the lingering looks, it’s the comment then the glance in my direction to see if I laughed, it’s the… actions and subtleties that give me the feeling that we connect, or should connect, differently than the other people around us. It’s intangible, I can’t really place my finger on it because it’s a subsurface feeling, something inside me telling me I need to act.
Not an isolated incident with only one girl, but a feeling that keeps happening, maybe twice per hostel stay, so twice every 4 days.
My problem, if it’s really a problem, or my obstacle or my question posed to my self (and to you), over and over as I switch hostels and these instances repeat: How do I act on this feeling in such a short time period? When there is time to develop a relationship and safety and deeper understanding of each other, hooking up is eventually expected. However, when there is a connection with no time to develop this safety net, what’s the next step?
I feel like we both know that there is something there. From my side, it’s a sexual connection mixed with the thoughts:
This girl is coooooool and she travelllllls and she’s not the same normal boringgggg. She’s cute, she’s cool, we connect.. ummm let’s make out?
I don’t think making out is a big deal. Let’s start (end?) there. There’s no lasting commitment, nothing too special that requires bonding or long term contact, just a way of showing someone that they mean more than the others. I can count on about two hands the number of girls I’ve felt a connection with since my travels began. Maybeeee a real connection on one hand and the other hand girls that I just wanted to make out with (for fun, for looks, for a story). But there about five or so that I’ve felt a connection with, that I wanted to take just a little bit further than the average “Hostel Friend” but, due to time restrictions (
good excuse) I wasn’t able to.
I haven’t quite figured out this game, yetttttt. I’ve known you for about 2 days and I think we should make out just doesn’t seem to work very well, coming from either direction (or would it? I would make out with a girl if she said that).
If you can get some alone time, after some touching and flirting and such, it would be a lot easier to get the ball rolling, but in a hostel with other people and her friends and different schedules it’s hard orchestrate this separation. Simply hoping it will work out hasn’t worked out.
With practice, observation, and practice, the probability or success rate will increase. But in the mean time, I’m losing out on flings, which I don’t really like, especially when I like her and want to take it just a (half?) step further.