• Looking back on 2012

I wrote this 12/27/2011 while planning 2012. Now, during my scheming for 2013, it’s cool to look back to see how this decision guided my year. *Straight from my Journal, no edits.

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I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my New Years Resolution. Like most things in my life, I know exactly what I want it to be. I start planning, thinking, and planning some more. But as the plans evolve, change. It starts to look different.

My New Years Resolution started as a complete dissection of my life into a daily growth plan. Do this, check. Do this and this, check. Work on this. Read this many books. Work on this.

But it didn’t feel right. That’s not me. And I started thinking about Goals and more specifically, not setting goals. I had a great discussion at the Salon the other night about the future and now. Where am I going? Why I am going there? Question? Question, question..

I read Thom Singer’s blog about being a better person. I read other people’s about new years.

I talked, I thought, I sat.

Here is what I came up with.

Move towards success.

I know what I love to do. I love talking with people about their lives, their real deep lives, their struggles, and helping them walk through the obstacles to emerge with hope and inspiration. I love to be healthy, to be active, and to be adventurous. I love to love my life. I love to grow. I love to be. I love to learn.

So if I know what I love, why do I need to set goals to follow my love? I heard recently that the Samurai spent everyday trying to become the best they could. They didn’t set goals to hit the most targets with an arrow. They didn’t set goals to see who could win the most sword fights. They just did what they loved with the intention of becoming the best they could.

That’s how I want to live.

I want to live everyday in the direction of becoming the best. If I know where I am going, why do I need to set markers to get there? Why do I need to measure growth if I know it will happen purely by going?

I think this is more difficult to follow than setting goals. Goals allow for excuses, for breaks, for restriction. My thinking process goes, “Nice, I just forced myself to do x now I earned a break.” But what if, “I love doing this. I love GETTING TO instead of HAVING TO.” Do I really need breaks. I can pause, refresh, regroup, but I want to get back to what I am doing. I don’t wan to force myself to do something, what’s the fun in that. It will naturally happen through the process of doing what I love. I love to write, free flow directly from my mind to the paper. It comes out pure, clean, fresh. But then revision has to occur. What I think is final isn’t final: there’s holes, unclarity, and confusion. I really don’t want to revise, I just want to write. But revision is part of writing, so I get to do it. How awesome is that? I just took something that I don’t want to do in theory and transformed it into something that I do want to do. Because I GET TO.

I know what success is for me. It’s loving what I do, doing what I love, being healthy, being fit, being successful and. That’s success for me right now. The specifics will change. With time, my view of the details of success will change. But it’s a direction. Success / happiness / love.

So my 2012 New Years Resolution:

Move towards success. Everyday I wake up, remind myself what success is, and move towards it. At night, going to bed, where was I successful at moving forward and what holds me back. Is this activity moving me there?

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